When people ask me what anxiety is like--I don't know how else to describe the emotion, so I use smoke. A fog. Light mists and grey hues gradually thicken and swallow the fixtures I once used to anchor my life. The path once certain, has now become an unrelenting black abyss I am asked to navigate. Panic begins to sink it's claws into the skin. The smoke in its' curl of black caresses my vulnerable body in an unwarranted manner. Asphyxiation gives way to surrender, as I lay down my body in what I could also describe--the meltdown. Meltdown: Defined by Webster's Dictionary as : a rapid or disastrous decline or collapse or : a breakdown of self-control (as from fatigue or overstimulation) In example: me on my bathroom floor ugly crying for three hours straight about my failure as a person and to the race of humankind. Or for no reason. ...
I started this blog in late 2015 when I began eating disorder treatment. What started as a personal project, grew into a page for updating family and friends, and now thousands read these posts from all corners of the world. This blows my mind. Today, I consider myself recovered, but my work as an activist is just beginning. For additional inquiries, please feel free to email me.