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Open Letter to The Girl Who Wishes She Had an Eating Disorder

     To the girl who wishes she had an eating disorder: 
Oh, words. There are so many things I would like to tell you in this moment, but all too quickly the time passes. My heart shatters in watching your eyes grow dark in the pain, as I watch you belittle yourself, and absorb the pointed and loaded remarks of society. I am sorry that society has made you feel so inadequate that you have the overwhelming urge to turn against yourself in your quest to find peace and self satisfaction. The satisfaction that society will never give you, and I guarantee you will never get.
     I am sorry that society has told you your worth in life is based off your size, or how many calories you can deprive yourself, rather than the overflowing compassion that flows from your soul, or the beauty of your free and passionate fiery spirit. I am sorry that society has become the fragile layers of ice upon which we traverse, when they offer no support, and we so quickly fall through, and then we are drowning. And I'm sorry that the lifeguards have gone on vacation, and no one is there to save you but yourself, and by then it feels as if you are flailing and you are too far gone.
    I want to encompass you in a hug. I know I cannot fix the problems of the cruel and malicious world, but I want you to know that the glow of your curiosity and spirit is beautiful. I can see it in your eyes, and I don't want an eating disorder to ever rob you of that. To look in the mirror, and see your sweet disposition, or vibrant personality that lights up the room, and radiates like the sun brightening everyone's path you cross.
    I am sorry that society has made disordered eating the "accepted cultural norm." This is never going to be okay. Your body is a beautiful creation, and you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You deserve to care for it. You deserve to eat when, and what you want- bad food does not exist. Society has wronged you.  I am so sorry for that, and I wish I could shield you from the lies, and the deceit, but I cannot. So I hope that you will guard your heart. You are worth it. 110%.
     I am so sorry that I used to hate you when you would make jokes about eating and purging, or starving yourself to be thin, followed by the reply "just kidding." I became enraged by your insensitive remarks, but I never thought about your pain. You didn't know. It's not your fault. I didn't know your story either. I hope you can see your beauty, and I hope you are doing okay. I hope you didn't ever develop an eating disorder, and I hope you live a healthy bountiful life.
     Finally, I am sorry that I cannot be the example of health and life I am hopeful of for you. That I encourage you to live a healthy life of beauty, and love, but I have not always done the same, and sometimes I still fall short. It is baby steps, and I am trying to get there. I admire you more than words can say for your strength. I hope you never go down this road because it is terrifying to lose so much, and sit in darkness at a loss for words. To lose your light. Don't ever lose yours.
     To the girl who wishes she had an eating disorder: I hope you know you have so much to offer the world. This letter is not just for the girl- this letter is for anyone, and I hope you know your worth, and how special you are. I care about you. I hope you re-evaluate your thoughts, and I hope you go on to take the world by storm.
~The Girl Who Promises to Start Trying to be a Better Example

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