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That Time of the Semester

     The sun had not yet peered its' head over the horizon as I loaded my car to begin yet another trek back to school. It was 6 am, but if I was already on the road, you know that I have been a coherent human being since at least 4:45, and although I am an early bird- this is early for even my liking. I can taste the smell of smog in the valley, and feel the sting of the first frost that ascends on the final growth of the season saying its' farewell.
     It has gotten to be that time of the semester again. Where there is always a paper to write- usually two, and that's if I am lucky. Weekends stacked with performances, and unrelenting schedules that leave sleep to be a luxury, and meal time forgotten. Church falls down on the list because that morning becomes the only day to sleep, and you forget about your spiritual life, all the while the devil at your back creeps upon your shoulder, and you have allowed an unwelcome visitor to make an untimely return. In that time of the semester.Your thoughts which must be focused on a million tasks of academia are now dwindling apart around the thoughts of disillusioned rationale. He creeps up in the night, and is back, and now you have to rid yourself of this unwanted pest amongst the million other things you are trying to take care of at that time of the semester. And you've been doing so well. Well crap.
     Anyways, back to that morning drive. I had originally come home this weekend for a couple appointments. That's typical for me. Ramping onto the interstate my radio had been up; I go to turn it down, and I become dead silent as I begin darting my eyes around for traffic, feeling the beat of my chest elevate as I enter my journey onto the highway amidst morning rush hour. As I turn down the music, I can hear my thoughts heighten. This awareness. The spinning of the world beneath my breath that becomes choked. It is in this moment when I realize that when I am attempting to silence the music, that I am  only going to drown.
    When life becomes too heavy laden in turmoil- people, their toils, my own grievances, and weights... I am trying to silence the things that are truly keeping me floating. I am silencing the wrong things. I do not want to live a life in a cage when I could be running free to my potential. Life's trials have become a bit heavy in that time of the semester- but this is life. I will no longer  silence it, it was not made for that. I was not made for that- nor are you.

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