Skip to main content

Road Workers and Saviors

     I think the road worker was drunk. You're looking to be saved, and you have followed all of the signs, but you have definitely come to the wrong place. Someone should fire that guy because the sign for Heaven should be going the other way. I do not have wings, and I cannot fly. I am not perfect, and am about as far from as they come. You look to be saved, but I am still figuring out how to save myself if I am being honest. I will carry you as far as I am able, but when I fall short- I apologize in advance.
     I wish I could solve your problems, and take your load, but I am only one person. I will offer you a hand, and the seeds I hope you will use to nourish your body, and carry you the right way on the path to someone better equipped, but if you choose to merely feed them to the birds, or throw them in the dead of the night, and exhaust my resources until I have nothing to give either of us, then I am useless.
     Though the road worker was drunk, and you have come here- you must keep going. I realize you blame your trials- but don't let them define you. .Don't let the fact that the road has been shitty determine that the road will continue to be shitty, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT. You DESERVE better than that. You are more than that. I cannot be your savior because only you can choose to save yourself. I don't want to walk away from you, but sometimes knowing health, is in realizing that the only way to save the world is to let it sometimes save itself.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Learning to Live

     I had to go grocery shopping. I came home Sunday night knowing there would be no food in the house for me to eat.  *Disclaimer: I had asked mom to hold off on the shopping- and shout out to her for going with me to learn about my meal planning*      This task, so simple to most, which I've always enjoyed doing had become a cruel game to this heavy loaded mind. A task such as entering a store for three items, left me dissecting labels in the store for hours, often leaving with a different cart than intended, for I wanted the "best" option for my body, all the while I was slowly killing myself. The aisles seemed to rise over me, and close in, while the food choices seemed endless yet so little to choose from. It was the equivalent to feeling like a lab rat in an experiment, or one of those shelter animals that everyone stares at, but feels sorry for. I began hating grocery shopping for it felt as though every person was judging my cart...
Post a Comment
Read more

No Fat Girls

    Pink Martini was playing in the car when I read "no fat girls." This bumper sticker plastered to the back of this old, worn nissan driven by a man who had been eyeing me as I tread through the parking lot certainly made me want a martini, but I sat behind this man for a solid two minutes at a stoplight of what seemed to last eons, feeling the repulsed state of hatred and anger within myself further manifest.      This is not the first time I have seen this or things such as this either. Unfortunately, it will probably not be the last either. I realize America is a free country, of free speech, and before I go running my mouth- I know just as I have the right to express my outrage, he has the right to express his opinions of sexualized, false manhood, and egocentrical boyhood vain, and shallow desires in the land of unattainable appearances in the complex of what I would furthermore simply describe as- "asshole."       Ok......
Post a Comment
Read more

Followed in the Night (and turning it around)

     I've learned that the world is full beauty. But from beauty also comes a realm of darkness.       As I arrived home the other evening following a lengthy day including voice lessons, treatment, church choir, and a rehearsal for singing in church on Sunday it was growing late, but I have certainly come home much later before. The rain beat down on the road, and the streetlights dimly lit a path for passerby's. I always keep the car doors locked- not even out of fear, but out of safety and common sense. As I pulled into my spot, I responded to a friend who texted me asking a simple question, and noticed an email from a professor. Midway through reading this I realized that the car that had driven up the street and pulled up just behind me, but partially beside me had been a car parked out in the street with their headlights on for about three minutes by this point. My instincts heightened, and I became uneasy. I know I made a mistake now, but...
Post a Comment
Read more