I go to a college where they advertise services for the
counseling center, but by the second day of classes all the slots are filled
for the semester.
If you are lucky there may be an emergency slot available on
a one time basis, or perhaps, partway through the semester someone may drop out, but
what about the in-betweens? You are not suicidal and you do not need a crisis
worker, but your mental health and well-being have hit the wall. The panic
attacks are piling up, the assignments are daunting, and while your professor
may understand, you will never know because the thought of speaking to them is
enough to paralyze your innermost being.
I go to
a college where they tell us they value our well-being, but they also want to
cut positions in the counseling center, and the mental health services are already
few and far between. We have a women’s center, but goodness if I know anything
about it. People are afraid to speak up about being assaulted because they are
afraid their voices will be silenced, or if not silenced- their reputation
deviled by social slander, and misrepresentation of who they are, as people
re-identify them as hoe’s or easy. They are words that should be associated
with garden tools and riding a bike, but instead are used to make a person’s
life a living hell.
I’m a
student in a department where they had a meeting this semester because they
noticed how horrid the mental health of their students has been this semester
in particular, but what they are missing is the daily conversation where
students “playful banter” turns into outright harassment of one another, or
people behind closed doors. The kind of speech that I believe might be defined
as bullying. Perhaps an outward projection of insecurities in a world where we
feel pressure to be perfect from both our professors and colleagues alike- but
when we are not careful, we allow it to crush the little bit of dignity we have
left at “that time of the semester.” However, slandering another will not fill the cup
we call our own.
I walk
paths everyday where I watch people as they try to assess whether or not to
make eye-contact. Whether or not it is safe, as judgement is such an assumed
response. I do it myself, and I watch others follow suit. People who gaze with
blank and hollow looks of lost meaning, or hope that left long ago. They do not
realize it is closer than they think because someone told them otherwise. They
have been made to believe they are victims of circumstance when they fall
short, rather than overcomers and victors in life. They have not been taught
that when struck—the answer is to turn the cheek and simply walk away because
they are worth more than laying down and quitting.
I walk paths
where I watch people give up because they do not realize how incredible, and
amazing they truly are.
Sometimes it feels as if I am walking on
glass because my words come back to haunt me, but I gave up filtering them
a long time ago. I know we can do
better. We need to do better- myself included. I am blessed with people who
understand and people who get it, but that alone is not enough when there are
people who want to know, and heal and grow, but are not being given the chance
or the means. I am sick of people struggling, when other people have the power
to create change, but are failing to do so.
I live in a world where I want to do better, and will do my
best. Where we can do better- we must.
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